Eye Trouble! Control Yourself Darnnit!

I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin? JOB 31:1

Men, this may not be an easy thing to admit with your wife sitting right next to you. But let’s be honest—you’ll likely relate to the story I’m about to tell. I was seated in a car with another Christian leader—a good friend of mine. We were both away from home, without our wives, waiting for a colleague who had just gone inside a store. And as we sat there, a woman walked by who was, well, drop-dead gorgeous. I caught sight of her as she entered the store, and then turned back to our conversation.

When she walked by again, by God’s grace (or the fear of my own reputation being spoiled), I summoned up enough self-control to look away. But I did notice my friend’s eyes lingering as she walked on to her car. Knowing we were both fighting the same battle, I casually said, “Hey, you can look at her once, you can look at her twice, but if you look at her that long . . .”

We laughed. We knew. Guys, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating a woman’s beauty. But we all know in an instant when we’ve reached that point where we’re no longer simply noticing her but have begun enjoying her and letting our minds become a playground of lustful thoughts. That’s when Fred Stoeker, co-author of Every Man’s Battle, says we must heed the covenant of Job 31:1. With the same impulsive quickness that makes us pull our hands back from a hot stove, we must discipline ourselves to “bounce” our eyes away from her. Yes, it is every man’s battle, all right. However, it is a battle we can win.


Husbands, help your wives understand that this admission of struggle is not caused by being unsatisfied with her. It is a struggle with temptation, lust, sin—a struggle with yourself.


Wives, pray for your husband’s in this area. Each of you should ask God for help with any deep areas of sin and temptation, especially those that can come between the two of you. Trust Him for the strength to be obedient.

(From ‘Moments with You Couples Devotional’ by Dennis & Barbara Rainey)


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?” I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?” In all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?”            

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it is weighing on your mind. Here is the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love with your spouse. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies.           

Falling in love with your spouse/partner was not hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You did not have to DO anything. That is why it is called “falling” in love… Because it is happening TO YOU.    

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.           

Falling in love is easy. It is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage/courtship, the euphoria of love fades. It is the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.     

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.             

At this point, you and/or your spouse/partner might start asking, “Did I marry the right person? or am I dating the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages/ relationships breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage/relationship for fulfilment.       

Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious (mostly men). But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage/relationship, It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else, You could, & TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):    


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It will NEVER just happen to you. You cannot “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That is why we have the__expression “the labour of love” because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationship work.          

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage/relationship.               

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It is a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..you can “make” love. Love in marriage/relationship is indeed a “decision”.. . Not just a feeling.

Remember this always-“God determines who walks into our life, It is up to us to decide who we let walk away, who we let stay, and who we refuse to let go.”

Author : Unknown

My Take: Respect Him; Love Her!

The Joys of Having a Big Sister!

My big sister Tonte!

Sista! That’s what I call her, that’s what we (siblings) all call her.

Her name is Tonte, Thanteh, Opulency, Dhanatela, Tus and so on depending on who is referring to her, but for me she is simply Sista.

Growing up I was so proud of her, so proud to have her as my sister. She was beautiful and gosh! there was never a dull moment when she was around. We used to look forward to her coming home. I remember coming home from school one day and walking into the children’s sitting room. The length of the window seal was lined with disney movies that came in those big transparent plastic jackets. I felt like I was in disney land. There, my beautiful big sister was spread out on the long couch taking a nap. She was wearing a royal blue skirt suit and she looked like sleeping beauty- face white as snow. I don’t know how to describe the Joy I felt but I still remember it vividly till this day.

We were 8 children but somehow my sis managed to satisfy all her 7 siblings with gifts. She just took certain things upon herself that she didn’t have to, like making sure I had a special hair do for Christmas,  making sure we had cute outfits for Buguma beach party and a swell time there too.  She’s so generous and I often wondered if it was a big sister thing. I mean I love my younger brother and if he was ever in real need I’ve  always given to him to the best of my ability but that’s not the kind of generosity I’m talking about. Let me give an instance…My sis, my younger brother and I were out of town together and we went to grab a burger. Being the lady that I am (batting my eyelids), I was taking my time eating and savouring my burger. Now my little brother ate his up in no time. He looks over at  me and asks me to give him mine. Gosh! I was appalled. I was like  ‘why should I give you mine? you just ate yours’. At that point my sis looked over at him and said ‘Do you want some more?’, He said yes and she handed hers to him. My heart sunk and I began to analyse the situation. I wondered if I was not a good older sister. I analysed and analysed and analysed and came to the conclusion that I’ve been good to my little brother but my older sister has been amazing to us all and no one can match her generosity over the years. She’s a delight and always the life of the party.

She’s been there in so many ways…Let me show you a letter my sis sent to me when  i was heartbroken many years ago… Screenshot_2015-08-12-16-18-19-1Screenshot_2015-08-13-12-50-00-1Screenshot_2015-08-13-12-55-07-1

My au naturele sister…

She sent me the book and it was a daily motivational book that saw me through.  My sister is priceless and I love her so…. Anyone out there with a big sister like mine?

My sister taking a dip…

 PHOTOS: Where the ladies at?! Zamoux is in PH city!


…So I attended the showing for a line of lipsticks (Zamoux) at a popular makeup outlet – Giftys Daughter in Port Harcourt.  

Zamoux lipsticks are a new and exciting range. They are Satiny, Creamy, Moisturising, Conditioning and yet gives the matte effect.  Apart from the Matte effect which I absolutely loveeee, the one that completely got me was the staying power.  Yesterday, i used one of the 3 I got in the morning and at night it was still plastered on my lips without me having to touch up(How Convenient?!)

Ladies, not only is this line of lipsticks FABULOUS, they are way more affordable than Mac. They go for just N3500 as against an average of N5500 we spend on Mac lipsticks depending on where you buy. Talk about almost 2 for the price of 1. I’m comparing them because they are totally the same quality! 

I went for the nudes because I could do with more of those.

L-R: Udoka Nwosu, Tari Isokrari, A happy client, Funke Tonye-Preghafi (CEO Giftys Daughter )
A client trying on Zamoux lipstick. See more below








My humble self networking


Zamoux co-brand owner and Funke Tonye-Preghafi ( CEO Giftys Daughter )


Zamoux lipsticks out for sampling

I went for the nudes because I could do with more of those. Take a close look at them: 20150811_222933

L-R:Matte Cococcino, Matte Candalious, Matte Notice Me Nude

 I feel like they are my new toys.

Can’t wait to get up, get ready and treat my pout with one of these.

Don’t underestimate the power of a good lipstick….go get yours darlings!

 They are available at Giftys Daughter: 

Port Harcourt – 6 Khana street, D line

Lagos – 25a Toyin Street, Ikeja

Abuja -204a DBM plaza, Aminu Kano, Wuse 2

For online orders, visit: